The Immigrant Song

 

Somewhere in London, a group of foreigners waiting for their refugee status cook their meals in bulks for the week. They only have a microwave in their hostel rooms.

Following the recent UK riots on immigrants, the community centre I volunteer for was short of staff / volunteers due to Muslims women having to stay home. We also had to be very quiet about the centre offering cooking sessions for the foreigners.

The cooking sessions are organised by a couple / colleagues who after studying ceramic and architecture found themselves involved in community projects.

Ceramic artist celebrated her 30^th birthday while racist riots took place across UK. Due to suffering mental health issues, I was hoping she could help as she is also involved in Neighbourhood Healthwatch projects.

I initially joined the community centre as a garden volunteer in Spring 2023 because of racism, misogyny and ableism (I have hearing impairment) in a community garden next door to my flat. I reported the issues in Summer 2023 using a colonialism angle... how a piece of land triggers abuse!

The situation escalated in December 2023 when community garden manager refused to open the gate to me on a rainy day by 8°C. The day after I reported the incident to Mayor of London, the Mayor of my borough and my ward Cllr (who had been promising to investigate the situation since June 2023) stressing I told her she was a racist and discriminative. In January 2024, Chair of community garden banned me from going back saying I had unpredictable behaviour and used abusive language! Mayor of my borough backed her up... she funds the community garden!

Birthday girl who missed all appointments she set up to help with my mental health issues gave me a birthday present:

For my 56th bday, I get dolls to put under my

pillow so my worries disappear... Not sure sexual violence/

sexual oppression classifies as 'mere worries' but surely the artist has

no awareness of sexual violence and its traumas!

On 22 August 2024, I received a text “An appointment has been booked for you on 17 October 2024 at 10.30 with Dr Shoham...” Going to the community centre on 23 August, I researched who was Dr Shoham. Ceramist artist was around and I asked her if it’s possible to book appointments without a patient consent / without saying who referred the appointment? She found it weird but when I showed her Dr Shoham was a psychiatrist with an expertise in psychosis and schizophrenia, with achievements on “Prevalence of Anxiety Disorders and Symptoms in People with Hearing Impairment”, ceramist artist told me I was probably mistaken...

Curiously, ceramic artist works along Dr Kirsten Brown, my GP colleague.

Curiously, my GP told me in May 2022 I was psychotic, paranoid and having persecutory delusion upon telling her I was a victim of sexual harassment, I received threats and insults. When I was ‘offered’ to have sessions with a freak, I declined!

Curiously, Mayor of my borough made that appointment for me with Dr Natalie Shoham!

Last week, I was volunteering at the community centre with three other women and as we finished our shift, we cleaned the space spotless for the cooking session. The ladies arrived and in total panic asked the receptionist why their session had been cancelled. Witnessing distress is not my idea of fun. Colleagues at work and couple of artists IRL shoot off for two weeks holidays! [Sidenote: two teenagers on work experience for two weeks were left with nothing to do for two weeks in the community centre] 

I wrote to one of them with subject line “Cooking Session”: “Hi - - -, I’m assuming you are on leave with - - - until 16 September 2024, but I feel I have to write this email. Please note, this email is in BCC to my MP and UK Foreign Secretary due to having totally being ignored in regard of my mental health issues as attached. We distributed food as usual to the less privileged ones in the - - - area via - - -. As we cleaned the kitchen space for the Cooking Session to take place at - - -, two ladies waiting for their refugee status came very upset as you cancelled their cooking session again.

As you know, refugees in waiting live in cheap hostels with no cooking facilities. If I understand well, they receive £8 weekly towards their food etc... The person at the reception was getting their distress and I, as a volunteer, felt totally unhelpful and sad. Why wasn’t it possible for you or your partner - - - (also part of the Cooking Sessions project) to organise the Sessions to go on while you are on leave? On - - - is supposed to be their next Cooking Session; they can’t have nowhere to cook for two weeks. Please, let me know if I can be of help on - - - September 2024: I can buy their food – I have helped - - - in the past to organise the food for each person.”

Attachment: “Hi - - -, Following my email dated 29 August as below, I’d like to understand a few things regarding your involvement in NHS. Also, I’d like to set a strict boundary with Caroline, the French girl who has been volunteering at the - - - since the Autumn 2023.Over the past year, I have mentioned on many occasions to you my mental health and depression; you have read my email regarding me being psychotic and schizophrenic according to my GP. A few months ago I mentioned how my GP practice is not referring me to any health risks like breast cancer screening despite me being over 50; when I received an invite to a breast screening I asked you if you contacted your NHS contacts – you said you didn’t. A few weeks ago, I told you I was bleeding when going to the toilet and soon after I received a bowel cancer screening invite. I wrote back to them telling them it was rude to suggest to a deaf person they should ask someone to call on their behalf due to their deafness. On Friday 23 August (last week), I was in total panic after receiving a text inviting me to a mental health practice for an appointment that has been set up with Dr Shoham. Your first reaction was offering to call them on my behalf because I’m deaf… then you said it was not usual to receive such invite without a patient consenting / seeing their GP. I left the garden in quite a mess this summer due to depression. - - - had to book a cleaner a whole morning to tidy the garden; I have repeatedly said I was low and unwell; why do you think a breast screening / bowel screening are more important than receiving treatment for depression? I have shown you the threats I received by email – I have shown you samples of degradation I suffered online! I don’t want you to take action; I am in need of a reply – by email or face to face. Regarding Caroline: in January 2024, I told you a conversation I had with her requesting her to stop talking to me: she had told me I should accept to be sectioned (in France it’s almost impossible to section); she was constantly referring to my deafness – that day when she agreed to stop coming up to me, she went to the - - - and came back with a book for children explaining what deafness is… telling me I could have it for free! She didn’t fully respect my wish but I said nothing. She came to pick up food we distributed. I was in agony with a back pain I get when in deep depression, I sat by the vegetable bed, she sat nearby. When she asked “how are you?” I said I had a back pain – she said I looked stone; then went on congratulating for how good the garden looks like adding I must have put a spell on it… I said I water every day. Me being stone and me cursing or putting spells on stuff are things my French aggressors put online! Since you can take a lot of actions, I am asking you to tell Caroline to stop talking to me”

On the day of the architect’s return, he said he wanted to have a word with me due to the very inappropriate email I sent. The usual quiet guy was shaking with anger as well as using the usual predator repertoire to undermine my journalistic skills and stress my pseudo psychotic state:

I was not staff, I was not his boss to which I agreed;

I didn’t investigate on anything and yet I was accusing him for not organising the Cooking Session which was organised by another member of staff who happened to be off sick – I replied I reported what I witnessed and I couldn’t investigate anything as the community centre is a ghost place: the only person is the receptionist and they have a lot to deal with for a minimum wage salary!

I was not staff, just a volunteer – I said I didn’t understand the point he was making.

He said I was just a volunteer and I had no idea of his projects – I asked if as a volunteer I was supposed to keep silent on people’s distress?

He said I should listen to his words instead of putting words he didn’t use – I asked if I was psychotic? He smiled and said he didn’t say I should be silent. I asked what would have been the best way to express my concerns over the foreigners? He left accusing me of sending inappropriate emails to him and his girlfriend!

I emailed him within minutes: “Hi, I have just re-read my email and I can't understand why you are so upset and why you feel my email is so inappropriate stressing I'm not staff but volunteer!

We witnessed a situation last week that was distressing.

I offered my help which is why I emailed before you came back from your holidays.

You seem to be very accusative and putting the blame on me...

I still don't know whether I was supposed to be silent about last week?”

He sat next to me showing my email saying that sending in BCC to my MP and UK Foreign Secretary has nothing to do with refugees and left. If I had time I would have replied I never put ‘refugees’ in my subject line!

He never once apologised for the stressful situation we, volunteers, were put into. The Management has not apologised for the situation either. The place is a ghost place with a receptionist having to deal with far too much and who probably keep silent as they might fear to be dismissed as unceremoniously as the volunteer coordinator was over a year ago: a great person with Turkish background who can speak Spanish and Japanese. My borough and London should be proud of people like her!